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Dec 31, 2011

RES(V)OLUTIONS FROM A STRICT OFFICER


       It’s the year end, 2011 is on its razor edge. As a new year dawns, the time has come to make our own ANYWAY-I-AM-NOT-GONNA-STICK-TO-IT resolutions :-P
       So let me help you revolutionize this year’s resolutions clearly on a lighter side :-D Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can say bubye to them :-P 

But seriously don’t make resolutions like,
*   I will reduce my FACEBOOKING time to 2 hours a day.
       You’ll give it up within your next login J
*   I will stop too much of texting.
        Thanks to TRAI, free sms is cut back to 200/day (75/day in airtel. DAMN airtel. That’s another sad story. I’l save that for my next post) J
*   I will stop complaining.
         Humans can never stop bitching about each other. You know that jerk?? He’s such a wimp. My roommate is a total moron. I hate my physics professor. He’s such a pain in the ass. #@!$%^*@# etc etc. This is a great stress relief technique. So do complain. J
*   I will stop irritating my FB friends by storming their walls with Farmwille, Citywille, all Painwille updates :-P
         FB games make us more productive rather than being idle you know. Utilize your precious time by sitting on FB J
*   I will get organized this year. I will start making TO-DO lists for every area of my life.
       I am warning you, don’t do this. Because then you’ll need a list to keep track of all those lists. J
*   I will stop replying with K, LOL to my friends’ texts.
        If you resolve so, how are you supposed to show that you’re pissed off ?!?! J
*   I will stop worrying about the past.
       Ofcourse,  It is now time to worry about the future J
*   I will resist the urge to fascinate people with my mokka jokes.
        This is not gonna happen either. We people talk mokka, walk mokka, laugh mokka, sleep mokka. Its irresistible !!! J
*   I will try to find out the reason behind me having an account on almost every social networking site which exists.
          With social networking, yo socialize, make friends, have fun, find your soul mate, be active, give your brain a little work, pay attention to other’s lives etc. Without them, you’re doomed. So exist everywhere J
*   I will stick to my resolutions for more than a week.
           If you complete this mission of STICK-TO-MY-RESOLUTIONS, you must be god J

So rather make ones you keep.
12 resolutions for 2012
* Never be jealous with other’s success.
* Never compromise to do the label best.
* Recognize the many different perspectives in life.
* Turn the joy and woe into opportunity.
* Evaluate the importance of a real friend.
* Struggle for better existence and prosperity.
* Don’t blame others, but be self analytical.
* Stand by your love, come what may.
* Always maintain positive attitude.
* Get experience from every happenings.
* Stop worrying about things that don’t worry about you.
* Don’t bother about NY’s resolutions and sticking with it ever.
Finally CHEERS to a new year and another chance for us to get it right J RESOLUTIONS provide you the oppurtunity  to dream big and act silly and nobody would think you are outta your minds J
P.S 1. May aaaaaaaaaal your troubles last less than your NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS !!!  
P.S 2. The strict officer is me ?!?!
  J  J happy new year  J  J  

Dec 20, 2011

Forbidden Acts For the Aliens From Mars !!!

1       Don’t tell her who is hot.

WHY ???
      Actually she doesn’t care and you can notice the expression of “aama, evan periya salman khan !! you ugly piglet ”. :P

2       Don’t say your favourite brand of beer and blah blah blah even if she asks.

WHY ???
      A REAL TIME SITUATION  ( This is only for the tubelights :P I assume most guys are so, so please continue reading :P)

V : Yo   drink ?
M  : Nope,  not  at  all.
V : Waaaat ???  Yo  dun  drink ??  Dats   weird !!
M : Jus  occasionally,  mayb  a   peg   o   something.
V :  Huh ??  Yo   mus   b   a  nerd !!?? I’ve  seen  guys  downin  bottles   of   beers   jus   lyk   dat.  Dats  cool.
M : Not really..  I’ve   been  drinkin  fa  quite  sum tym   now, actually  a  lot  and  I  can  hold  it   beta   dan   most  guys   yo  kno.
V : Dats  cool.  <<Bloody drunkard >> (This is her mind voice, mind the font)
M : Actually  I  can   finish   a   bottle  of   vodka   in   a  minute  o  two.
V : Really ???   <<Chiiii, kudigaaran >>
M : My   favorit  brand  s   XXXX,  d  strongest  alcohol  yo  kno  and  blah   blah   blah !!
V : Hmmmmmm, cool    <<Okay now, You are busted>>

      I hope you got the answer for the ‘WHY’  from her mind voice. :P
P.S 1 : Sorry, I forgot about the V and M.
*V - Venusians
*M - Marsians
P.S 2 : Tubelight Guys :P

3       After a looooooooooooooong chat (Count the number of ‘o’s to determine the number of days that they’ve been chatting, …………………… Done counting??? Ok, now carry on reading)  don’t ask her if she has a boyfriend.

WHY ???
      If she has one, she wouldn’t be talking with you.(Except for a few exceptions :P) But that doesn’t mean you have a chance :P

4       Don’t just say “good” when she asks “Hw  do  I  luk  todae??”. Three or more adjectives would help than your blunt stupid “good” :P

WHY ???
      A girl could do with a little more of a compliment.
For Example : “Dat  mascara,  grt !!!, if  nly  luks  cud  kill”
      WOW!!, Now that is something. Bonus points if you can elaborate. May be extra XOXOXOX kedaikalaam :P

5       Don’t describe anything good about any girl especially KATRINA.

WHY ???
      You wanna hear all those honey-coated sarcasm-hidden words?? Go on then
PS : No more sweet talks or smses atleast for a day or two :P
Wanna hear her mind voice?? Here you go <<vena avalayae poi kattiko>>   

6       You wanna impress a girl?? Please don’t start with your ‘ONCE UPON A TIME’ love failure.

WHY ???
      A girl knows what’ll happen next. << adhutha proposal enaku dhaan>> Miss. SHE logged out forever :P

7       Don’t talk about your number of girlfriends to show off your ‘MANMADHAN’  tag in front of your girlfriend.

WHY ???
      Pigs dhaa pathu + girlfriends vachrukum, Singham single ah dhaa irukum. Girls obviously prefer SING(LE)AMS :P

    8   Don’t ever show off with your vetti scenes.
For example : When she says, “I  luv  Yuvan’s  music” , please don’t start like “Hmmmmmmm,  I usually  listen  to  Lady Gaga  & JB. But  Britney & Selena  are  ma  fav  yu  kno. Sometimes  its  Taylor Swift  fa me, She’s  also  gud  blah blah blah…. ”

WHY ???
      Listen to her mind voice << poduradhu ennavo ‘nandhi mark’ ah irundaalum, buildup ennavo ‘jockey’ range ku kudukudhu paaru !!!>>
Hope you got it !! :P

9     Cars and Bikes !!! Well, get a costliest one for her. But long, boring, elaborate explanations about anything on wheels ??? Definitely NO !!

WHY ???
      Girls don’t understand (atleast most girls) and they don’t give a damn about mileage or suspension or power steering or whatever. :P

10   Don’t tease your friend in front of your girlfriend.

WHY ???
       Sirichu sirichae unga friendshipla fire ah vachu koluthitu poiduvaa. After that No friends, No booze parties, No bachelor nights out , etc NOs.

11  You think this list is gonna go on?? No, It ends here :P

Final P.S : The writer (ofcourse that’s me !!) is a girl, So guys please HEED !!!